I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
