it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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