we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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