I just pynch a tree in the face
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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