well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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