I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
