I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
