Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
