after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So much rum. So many feels.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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