you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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