I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
