So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
