Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize