..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
God I need to hump something, right now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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