why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
its liver damage thursday
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
