Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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