I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
