How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
