his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
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She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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