So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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