They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
the liver wants what the liver wants
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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