At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I deserve to be covered in dicks
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
