i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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