its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize