There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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