Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
