Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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