if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
