I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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