I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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