eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
