This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
