i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize