So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
