He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
