Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
