there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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