All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He shit in the fireplace
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
