OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
