all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Someone came in the potted fern
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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