She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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