Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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