I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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