no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
