Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
