This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize