He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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