Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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