I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
