i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
