I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
they're like a gay fantastic four
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
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we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm having to shit out rocks
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