you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
