Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
