it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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