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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  are you serious?

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.

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• (925): View more from California

  I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair

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• (631): View more from New York

  Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good news! Blood’s flowing!

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