Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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