I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
