She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
