I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So much Jack, so little girl.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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