I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can text with my tongue
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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