i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
