No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
