dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
